“Well, the situation is pretty dire here. Our recommendation is all of our clients to put everything they’ve got into preserved goods and firearms.” That bit of wise counsel comes from the Brain Gremlin – a lab-engineered, talking, glasses-wearing member of the slick creature crowd that infests Manhattan’s super-smart Clamp Tower skyscraper in filmmaker Joe Dante’s unhinged continuation Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Superficially, it’s nothing more than an portfolio pointer from one monster to another. However, oddly enough, it’s also remarkably sound life guidance. Honestly, listen to my reasoning.
When life takes a turn for the worse, the most counterproductive action you can do is approach matters with excessive gravity. The Brain Gremlin comprehends this. Indeed, the majority of the toothy monsters that populate Dante’s unrestrained 1990 movie (debateably his greatest) possess the same knowing, self-referential funny bone regarding the hazy boundary separating daily routine and unadulterated chaos. It’s a single component of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that maintains my loyalty – and with the passage of time, it’s the message that resonates the most.
Of course, my attachment to this movie did not begin on such an deeply thoughtful note. As a child, we were limited to a few well-worn videocassettes at home. Among them were Gremlins and its sequel, the latter housed in a thick former-rental sleeve likely purchased from an off-brand video shop and featuring growling monsters on its knackered cover. I was instantly captivated and these films wasted no time lodging themselves inside my tiny, impressionable mind. Henceforth, they became an practically routine part of my youthful watching schedule.
Dante’s initial installment typically gets all the accolades, thanks mostly because of its status as a semi-scary seasonal fave – and let me be clear, I’ve watched Gremlins more times than I can count. That said, its sequel rarely gets the same level of high regard, which feels criminal. As a kid, I’d always seize the chance to watch Gremlins 2. During bright summer vacations, I’d retreat into the house and play it. When I acquired my personal TV-VHS combo unit, it stayed in constant rotation in my bedroom. With repetition, it became deeply rooted in my mental framework. If my parents noticed this obsession, they didn’t seem to mind.
As I got older, new insights rewarded repeat viewings, amplifying the pleasure of watching little green monsters joyously wreck a New York high-rise. I learned the ahead-of-its-time real estate tycoon and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was based squarely upon future president Donald Trump, with his red-headed employee Marla (Haviland Morris) echoing his one-time partner Marla Maples. Luckily, Clamp demonstrates more humanity than his genuine article inspiration.
The “doomsday” video Clamp plays during the height of creature carnage? I discovered it was based on a genuine “Doomsday” video commissioned by the CNN boss Ted Turner should the world actually met its demise. I noticed how Dante took extra pains to film different iterations of a meta sequence where Gremlins take over the very film you’re watching. A version for theaters, a separate one for tape and broadcast, each offering a winking bit of fourth-wall-breaking cultural alchemy before the term was even a thing.
While it was creature designer Rick Baker’s gloriously nasty-looking creatures that caught my eye as a child, this deeper gold held my interest as an adult. Eventually, I even conversed with Dante about it myself and he had no hesitation revealing to me he made the movie with the direct intention of poking fun at those who loved its goofy-but-heartfelt predecessor and wanted more. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he cheerfully disclosed. This anarchic rebelliousness and commitment to not take his sequel as seriously as his Warner Bros bosses evidently expected, only increased my affection for it.
When I endured a unexpected loss in the family not long ago, I was astonished to realize that, during my most profound sorrow, all I wanted to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Weird, right? Maybe not. The soothing reminiscence it offered was needed to dilute my mind’s mourning mire – but the insights it had given me as an adult were just as useful.
Like Gremlins rampaging through a genetics laboratory, there’s particular aspects in life you just can’t control. Dante understands this. The Brain Gremlin shares this wisdom. Sometimes, you have to follow their example: welcome the pandemonium, commit your entire being into preserved goods and firearms and try not to view the world with undue solemnity.
It’s robust worldly wisdom from a most improbable origin – and it’s the reason Gremlins 2: The New Batch will forever remain my go-to cinematic solace.
Maya Chen is a seasoned tech journalist and software developer with over a decade of experience in digital innovation and cybersecurity.
